Risk and Failure

Each week I have a different challenge or thought to think about. This week my challenge has been to think about what is good about taking risks and embracing failure. The timing couldn't have been better. On Saturday I interviewed for one of my dream positions. I've wanted this position for years and it finally opened up. I applied, worked with my campus career center, got recommendations (one from the President of my university mind you) and gave the interview my best shot. In the end, the position was offered to someone else. I was absolutely crushed. In my life, I haven't taken risks very often. I've just stuck to what I knew. The biggest risk I've ever taken was running for an FCCLA state office in high school. I've never tried so hard for something to not work/ fail before like this and I've learned some things. Success doesn't always depend on how hard you work. Sometimes it's out of your hands. You just have to accept that. Someone once told me that failure isn't fatal and that's so incredibly true. For some reason I've always been afraid of failure to the extent that I thought that if I failed I would disappoint those around me and everything I worked for would be down the drain. This experience has been one of the most humbling of my life. You don't really know how many people you have rooting for you until you fail and they come to support you.
I don't like taking risks because of my fear of failure. But it's almost like not living because you're scared of death. That's dumb. You don't really live unless you fail. So many successful people attribute their success to failures and this experience has shown me that even if I fail, I have a huge support group to catch me and pull me back up. Recently I've been working on taking risks, but I haven't done any that would even have room for a failure. I need to do that. I'm going to start taking risks in every way I can. I've always excelled in everything that I've done and failure has never been in my vocabulary. Now that I see that failure is a part of life and a part of growing, I see that you don't truly live until you experience it. As much as I think that they made the wrong decision in not hiring me, I understand that I just wasn't the right candidate that they were looking for. Something better will come along and I will move on. I need to stop focusing on my high school glory days and put that enthusiasm and energy into my positions on campus.
In the end, I've learned a lot in the last 24 hours. I went from an emotional wreck to being accepting of it. I didn't realize how easy it would be to move on, but I'm excited to see where I end up next.

Adventures

As the year comes to an end, I can't help but get excited for all of the exciting opportunities I have lying ahead of me in the new year. If I had to come up with one word to describe 2013 it would have to be growth. I don't think that a single year has ever allowed/caused me to grow as 2013 did and I'm incredibly grateful for the adventures it has taken me on. If you know me, I'm not one for trying new things very often or stepping out of their comfort zone but that's exactly what 2013 caused me to do. I tried sushi which was gross but it was at a sketchy Chinese buffet which may have something to do with it, watched Christmas Vacation which may be one of the top Christmas movies ever, met some incredible people and caught up with friends I haven't seen in years, stepped out of my comfort zone in ways I never would have dreamed, became more independent, got a job on campus that I absolutely love, applied to the Education program making my dream of being a teacher that much more real, sent in an application for a position I'm incredibly excited about applying for, organized for and met Dr. Brad Buck on campus, took a picture with Senator Ted Cruz which was awesome even though I disagree with a solid 97% of his opinions, also met Senator Chuck Grassley who offered me an internship with his office, and attended two different fancy dinners which I loved, the list goes on and on but overall I learned and grew so much this year. I even got to watch (on TV sadly) my Grand View Viking football team take home the National championship! With so much greatness contained in one calendar year, I can only imagine what 2014 will bring.

I'm not one of those "New Year, New Me" types of people because let's be honest, I'm not going to do any of the stuff I say I'm going to, so why set myself up for disappointment? That's dumb. I get the idea of setting goals, but a new year isn't going to magically make your goals happen. It doesn't take a new year for you to make goals. If you want to change something do it. Don't wait for a new year to make it happen. You are the one in control of your life. Not the calendar. Come on people. Go out and make great stuff happen all year! Not just in January!

Although I'm not setting New Year's goals, I am looking forward to many things about 2014. I've got some great opportunities coming my way and I just can't wait for everything in the new year to get started. January kicks it off and from there the opportunities keep coming. It's so exciting! I'm ready to make 2014 as great or better than 2013 has been!

Happy New Year
Go out and do great things!

Hayley :)

Where does power come from?

I've been thinking a lot about where power comes from and what gives someone the right to have power over someone else lately. I think a lot of this has been stirred from a class I'm taking where we've been talking about the role of the state, but this is a question I've grappled with for a couple of years now.

Who was the first person to take charge as a leader, and why did the other people submit to them? Was it the best hunter or was it someone with natural leadership ability? Did gorillas that eventually evolved into humans have leaders? Why did one gorilla just suddenly become leader? Why? Why? Why? Is there such thing as a natural leadership ability? Is leadership really natural? Why does someone else have the ability to tell me what to do? I don't remember signing anything that says anyone else has power over me. I just don't understand and I don't think I'll ever fully understand.

What gives someone else power over me? They're just a person like I'm just a person. We are all just people, nobody better than the other. In a classless society, nobody would be born with more power than another. If we had no society back before society was even a thing, nobody was just born powerful (I mean, strength, yes, but power over others, no.) Where then, did power come from? What makes people submit to the authority of others? I just don't understand where that authority came from. A policeman is just another person, but they have authority over what we can and can't do. Who got to decide what we can and can't do? And why did they get to decide and not me? The problem I'm grappling with at the moment is that we're all just humans. Nothing really distinguishes each from the other in a state of pure nature, so what makes someone so much more powerful than I am. Why should a congressman have the power to tell someone whether or not they can get married? What is it that gave them that power? The constitution. Who gave men of the constitutional convention the power to create the constitution? When the settlers came to America, what made some leaders and others just normal, every day people? I just don't get it. Did someone just decide they were going to be King one day and BAM! they ruled over everyone?

Voltaire said "To figure out who rules you, figure out who you can't criticize." That is so true to an extent. You aren't going to openly, blatantly criticize the person who rules over you because of fear of punishment. What gives that person the power to punish you other than their own authority. In that case, why can't you punish them? If you criticize someone of power, there is a high probability of backlash so Voltaire was right. I do criticize Voltaire in the respect that if I were to criticize the President, who rules over me, it's possible to do so with little to no repercussions because others would agree. Granted, in earlier times, it was much harder to criticize the ruler, but the principle still stands. In Nazi Germany, those who criticized Hitler were far and few between because of terror of being punished. In other countries, it is a crime to speak against the leader, but in modern-day USA, I could write a blog about how much I hate President Obama and nothing would happen. I would get some backlash from friends of mine, but other than that it would be relatively painless (except for how much I support the president...it would pain me to have to write that :) ).

What kind of ruler rules through fear? I have a strong feeling that leaders through history have gained a lot of their power through inflicting fear of pain or punishment onto those they rule over. People wouldn't question the ruler because they didn't want to get killed or tortured. I think that in the beginning of time when people began taking control of each other they did so through fear. It's like a big bully who takes your lunch money. If you want to live here, you have to submit to my power otherwise I'll kill your family because I can. I think that would cause me to submit to someone else's power too. Not cool.

Another thought I've been pondering lately has to do with how anyone has any right to land. Adam and Eve didn't own land. Archaic peoples didn't own land. Maybe if you decided that you wanted to live somewhere and made your own area that was cool, but who ever associated a monetary value with it. I get selling a house, but I don't feel like anyone has more right to land than anyone else. It's another power thing.

I don't think I'll ever know the answer to these questions. I don't even know if this post makes any sense to anyone else but me, but I'll continue to think about these big ideas and try to figure out what I think and where power actually comes from. :)

Words of the Wise

I've been reading a lot of really interesting philosophical type books lately, both for class and my own personal enjoyment and I've learned a lot. (I'm also taking a political science class...so I've been thinking politically again...) From my post yesterday about Socrates being wise because he knew that he did not know, to what I've been reading this morning, John Stuart Mill's On Liberty which was talking about toleration of others I've been thinking a lot about some interesting topics. I haven't really thought about what Mill was saying for sure (I read it about an hour ago), but it got me thinking nonetheless.

This debate about tolerance has been going on for CENTURIES, and for someone who was writing in the 1800s to talk about toleration blew my mind, especially how strongly he was pushing religious toleration. He said "Yet so natural to mankind is intolerance in whatever they really care about, that religious freedom has hardly anywhere been practically realized..." The United States like to pride itself on being tolerant and accepting of all types of people, and freedom of religion was a MAJOR component of the founding of the United States, but do we really have religious freedom here? Yes, you're free to practice your own religion, or to not have one, but are you treated in the same way as others?

Christianity is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it's hard to be anything but. I get that we were founded on a strong christian base of various practices and denominations, but when the first amendment says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." I think we need to take it seriously. Back in the 18th and 19th centuries, it would have been much less of a deal to set a national religion, but today there is SO much religious diversity within our country, trying to push Christianity in everything is a bit ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a Christian and I have absolutely nothing against Christianity as a religion, but I think we take it too far in our politics.

So many of the political arguments that divide our country center around religious problems, gay marriage, abortion, etc...and I think that we have to be able to remove religion from those problems and look at them as what they are without the Christian lens getting in the way.

Gay marriage- two people that want to get married of the same sex. How absolutely terrible is that? It's not. Don't get your panties in a twist because of someone else's decisions. You don't get to CHOOSE your own sexuality, so why should someone else CHOOSE whether or not you get married? I just don't get it. Come on now people. The bible says this or the bible says that; just because the BIBLE says it, doesn't mean that you HAVE to be against it. The bible also says that slavery is a natural condition...so do you believe in slavery because the Bible says it? Probably not. You have the capacity to decide for yourself whether or not you believe in gay marriage, but from a standpoint NOT involving religion, why would you have a problem with it?

Abortion- I'm not saying that I support abortion, but I don't see why someone else should decide what happens to someone else's body. There are SO many circumstances surrounding why a woman would get an abortion that I just don't feel like it is right for a law to say what you can and can't do to your body. That being said, I don't think that people should be able to have abortions past a certain point and I think there has to be a valid reason as to why someone does it, but I don't think that the limits should be so short that the woman doesn't have time to make a rational, well thought out decision. If you believe that life begins at conception, good for you. I feel like there are SO many complications that are natural that could end the life between conception and birth that it isn't as big of a deal as some people make it out to be. (I am not endorsing abortions in any way, shape or form, just giving my views here.)

If our CONSTITUTION/ Bill of Rights SAYS that we won't have a national religion, I really think we need to take religion and our politics and not put religious dogmas into our laws. We have to take a step back and look at the WHOLE picture and consider both sides of the argument. Mill talked at length about looking at both sides of an opinion before deciding which one you truly support and I really think that a lot of people need to be able to sit back and LISTEN to others' opinions before being so strong-headed themselves. Why can't we just support each other without tearing others apart because of their beliefs or opinions? I understand why people believe the opposite of me, I don't believe that they are always correct, but I support those opinions and would never HATE someone because of what they believe. My roommate and I are on the TOTAL opposite end of the spectrum on our opinions and some of our beliefs, but we embrace that. We support each other's opinions and we have GREAT discussions about this kind of stuff because we are able to see where the other comes from. Why can't everybody do that? I guess I'll never understand.

BTW- you can check out my roommate's blog at heathercarpe.blogspot.com :) It's REALLY good!

Wise is She who Knows that She Does Not Know

I've heard this idea everywhere lately and I absolutely love it. This idea began when I was reading the Death and Trial of Socrates: The Four Dialogues by Plato in my honors class. When we discussed it, I fell in love with the idea because I completely agree and I loved the way he worded it "As for me, all I know is that I know nothing." Socrates was told by the Oracle at Delphi that he was the wisest man in Athens, and I believe that he was wise because he understood that he didn't even begin to know everything that there is to know. You can't be wise if you think that you know everything, and you can't be wise if you think you know nothing. If you know that you know some things, but don't know even a portion of all that there is to know, you are wise. I also saw this quote in Sophie's World, a book I've started to read about the history of philosophy. It was talking about Socrates being wise in a really down to earth way and I really enjoyed it. I laughed when I caught the reference to the quote from the other book I had read about two days before.

I believe that there is so much to learn that it is impossible to learn it all. You have to understand that to be able to open yourself up to wisdom. Your life experiences, combined with the knowledge you have makes you wise but also the knowledge that you don't know all there is to know plays a major part. If someone knows that they are wise because they think they are, they're not wise. If someone else sees the wisdom in someone and that person doesn't believe that they are wise, then the person is truly wise.

I understand that I don't know all that there is to know and I accept that. I will work to learn all that I can though because I believe that knowledge is the key to a successful life, a happy life, and is the key to moving society forward. People have to be knowledgeable and educated for anything worthwhile to get done. If we don't know what we're doing and aren't educated about what is going on, we won't advance our society in any sense of the word. Education is the key.

Whew.

I finally have a free moment. Thank goodness. Things have been a whirlwind lately and I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it has been to do absolutely nothing for a change. I moved back to Des Moines on August 13th and since then I have been constantly going and doing things but I loved every minute of it. Going from our fall leadership retreat, to leadership week, new student days and the first week of class was insane, but I learned and grew so much in the last month and I'm so thankful that I had such incredible opportunities. Sometimes I have to take a moment to think of how wonderful my life is and how lucky I am to attend such a fantastic college that I love so much and just enjoy everything. Thinking back to last year's homesickness, I can't even begin to understand the growth that occurred in the last year. I didn't even go home for labor day this year because I wanted to stay with my friends and relax! (I do have to go home in a couple of weeks though so that may have had something to do with that decision...) I didn't feel like I really got a real summer break and at first that bothered me, but now I'm okay with it. I loved my summer classes (minus my May term History class) and I enjoyed my time at home in July as life changing as it was. July was absolutely insane when it comes to a relaxing summer. I never would have guessed everything that happened. I experienced grief I've never felt before and I spent a lot of my own time in and out of the doctor's office...so much for a relaxing break! New Student Days was a success and I loved meeting all of the new students and getting to know them. You also can't beat a weekend with the View Crew! I love those guys! Sure it was a stressful and busy weekend but I wouldn't give it up for anything. Now that school is starting I'm about to have zero free time. Great. I love being busy but this year is going to push me to see how much I can handle. 18 credits. A leadership position and two jobs on campus. I can handle it, but we'll see how the stress-o-meter handles it. I'm looking forward to a fantastic school year nonetheless and I'm super excited to see what the future brings, even with the stress that comes with it!

I Like (to Visit) Ike

I've been spending the last few days visiting my family in Manhattan, Kansas celebrating the Fourth of July and hanging out. Today, I had the chance to drive to Abilene, Kansas the boyhood home of President Dwight D. Eisenhower. It's incredible how much the world changed during Ike's life. He was born in 1890 and died in 1969, living through World Wars I and II and the beginning of the Cold War. He lived through the Great Depression and by the time he was in office, color television had been invented! I've had the chance to visit the Presidential Center before, but I didn't really know what I was looking at or who President Eisenhower was in the first place so it was really interesting to see everything with an understanding of what was going on in the world at the time.

I had the chance to tour President Eisenhower's childhood home which was a really interesting thing to tour. Ike only lived there for a few years, but his mom lived there until she died. It's a tiny house for 6 boys and their parents. With only 4 bedrooms, I three boys shared one room, two another and the third tiny bedroom was reserved for Ike's oldest brother. I can't seem to wrap my head around how small houses were back during the late 1800s compared with houses today. Running water wasn't even installed in the house until Ike was 18 years old! How crazy is that? 

The Eisenhower Museum was also an interesting experience. There is a really cool exhibit going on from 2013-2016 that is about World War II which I found to be fascinating. I've always found WWII to be one of the most interesting parts of history to study so this exhibit spoke right to me. The best thing that I got to experience from this special exhibit was that there was a man who had really served in WWII and had actually met President Eisenhower when he was in command of the Allied troops in Europe that was touring the museum. He was telling stories to those of us that were around him and it was a really cool experience to hear some of it right from someone who lived it. I also had the chance to interact with with a man who had friends that had fought in WWII and was telling me stories that his friends had told him about liberating Death Camps. I loved this experience. 

There was also a wall that talked about Japanese Internment Camps in the United States during WWII which I thought was a really interesting read. 

Something I found to be interesting about Ike during WWII was that he had prepared a statement for if the D-Day invasion were to have failed. I hadn't given any thought to the chance that the invasion could have been a huge disaster. By no means was it an extraordinary victory, but the fact that General Eisenhower wrote a statement taking full responsibility for the failure brought a new light to the D-Day invasion.

There was a section of the museum about the election of President Eisenhower. My brother actually enjoyed looking through the various election materials and the I LIKE IKE buttons. 

I even got to visit President Eisenhower's final resting place. He's buried in what is called the Place of Meditation. It's like a small church, where Dwight, Mamie and their first son Doud are buried. There's a small fountain and it's a really peaceful place. 

Overall, I had an awesome time vising the Eisenhower Presidential Center. It's a beautiful campus to check out if you're interested! There's also the Presidential Library for research related to President Eisenhower's papers from his presidency. I would love to look through them some day!